October 11, 2005
Week 24 - The Quest 3
Episode 2
Hal talks with Chuck in the Rantz family's home office.
"Awesome!" Hal says, peering at the computer monitor. "Kill Ravage is up to number four in the world standings for the new version of Death Zone!"
"The f--k do you care?" Chuck asks.
"Kill Ravage is my favorite player. I scored a frag off him once! It was him, all alone, against my entire clan. He beat us fifteen to one, but that one time, I took him down!"
"It's just a stupid game. You should get out more, expand your horizons."
"You sound like my mother."
"Hey, your mother's hot! You think she'd do me?"
"Don't be disgusting!"
"If you love this game so much, why don't you just get the new version?"
"They won't sell it to me. It's got some stupid 'Mature' rating, so kids can't buy it. And my parents hate violence, so they won't help. My clan's already started practicing, and I'm out, cause I can't upgrade. It's driving me out of my f--king mind!"
"Tough one, Junior... Fortunately for you, your buddy Chucky is here to help. Got a photo of your cute little head?"
"What do you want with that?"
"I'm gonna jerk off to it!"
"Go to hell! What are you talking about?"
"What you need, Junior, is a phony I. D. And I know just where to get one."
"No way! You gotta be seventeen to buy a mature game. I can't pass for seventeen!"
"Don't you know how it works? The dudes at the stores... You may be a kid, but your cash is still green, right? They wanna sell you the shit. They just need to be able to tell anyone who's watching that they checked. You flash the card, they won't argue."
"You could really get an I. D. for me?"
"I got a ten page report due on the Iroquois. Know how much I care about the Iroquois?"
"Um... Not at all?"
"Exactly correct! You write
me that report, I'll get you a card
in no time."