July 18, 2005
Week 13 - Everybody's A Critic
Episode 1
Rantz sits at his dining room table, magic markers and paper sprawled in front of him. As he draws, Liza steps into the room.
“What’s with the arts and crafts stuff?” she asks. “What’s that supposed to be?”
“It’s Coyote Man…” Rantz answers.
“That lunatic! What are you doing drawing him?”
“I’m trying to… I dunno, do a mock-up, I guess, of what could be the cover of the next issue.”
“You’re putting Coyote Man on the cover of your magazine! Why?”
“He dresses up like a superhero, right? We cover comic books… Harry thinks it’s a natural fit.”
“That bastard is no hero! He attacked our son!”
“Didn’t really attack him… just sort of messed with his bicycle...”
“He scared Hal half to death! And now you’re exploiting him!”
“We’re not exploiting him… we’re covering him… he’s news… Besides, what do you want from me, I’m not the editor, I’m just the Circulation Director…”
“Then why are you trying to draw a cover? I thought that was that Celeste woman’s job.”
“Because Celeste won’t listen to me… She wants to do some abstract piece of crap… Some coyote… a real, animal coyote, howling at a giant moon… You know how many impulse sales that would generate? Zero! I’ve done studies… Sales go up when we stick to simple, representational figures… I want to show her what I’m thinking of.”
Liza stares at the paper. “That’s supposed to be Coyote Man?”
“That’s Coyote Man.”
“He looks like an aardvark…”
“That’s his Coyote mask… That’s his nose…”
“Definitely some type of anteater...”
“Everybody’s a critic...”
She pats him on the back. “Stick to Excel, Picasso.”