July 6 , 2005
Week 11 - The Rude Laptop
Episode 3
Rantz talks with Harry.
“I’m having a problem with Celeste,” Rantz says. “I did a whole analysis of what types of covers increase sales… She wouldn’t even listen. She just talked about using art to send messages to space aliens.”
“So what?” Harry asks. “Celeste is crazy, that’s no news.”
“I… I don’t know if I’d say she’s crazy… she has some strange ideas…”
“She’s cracked! You know what she made me do when I first hired her? I had to get the super up here to move her desk so it pointed North. She wanted her body to be aligned with the earth’s magnetic poles while she worked!”
“Umm…”
“But she’s a good Art Director, so I don’t mind.” Harry glances at his computer’s monitor. “You want crazy? Listen to this… I just saw this on Yahoo! News… Some lunatic on Long Island… in Huntington…”
“That’s just a few miles from my house…”
“Some lunatic… There were these two kids last night, right? About fourteen or fifteen years old. They think they’re gang bangers… They’re spray painting their colors or something on some wall…”
“Okay…”
“And then… this lunatic… this is the great part, some guy closing up a Thai restaurant across the street saw it all… some lunatic pops out of a side street, right? He’s wearing… something like a Halloween mask of a Coyote… He’s got some sweatshirt with a big ‘C’ on his chest… He pops up and starts yelling at the punks to ‘Surrender!’”
“Uh oh…”
“So the kids laugh at him and then knock him down or something and run away… After a while the Coyote guy gets up and by the time the cops get there, he’s gone…”
“Wonderful… so now I have to worry about some maniac in my own neighborhood…”
Harry shrugs. “Makes life interesting. I say ‘Let a thousand cuckoos cluck!’”
“Look… Let me show you my analysis. Maybe you could talk to Celeste.” He hands Harry his laptop.
Harry looks at it. “It says ‘Your tits are terrific, but your butt is a bust!’”