June 27, 2005
Week 10 - The Wet Laptop
Episode 1
Rantz sits on the train, commuting home from New York City. While riding, he works on a letter on his new laptop.
“It is my feeling,” he types, “that an exchange of our subscriber lists for the purpose of direct mail promotion would be mutually beneficial to”…
A cheery tune suddenly blasts from the handbag of the woman sitting next to him. She shuffles and pulls out a cell phone. “Hello!” she says loudly to the receiver. “What? I’m on the train!”
Rantz stares at her and then turns back to his monitor. “to both of our publications.” he types. “To that end, I propose a”…
“No…” the woman says. “I don’t know… About a half hour…”
“I propose a half hour…” Rantz scowls and hits the delete key several times. “I propose a one to one swap of names and addresses. Alternately, I am prepared…”
“I just passed Cold Spring Harbor… What? I don’t know? Lasagna…”
“to offer lasagna in any…” He stares at the screen. “Shit!” he mumbles and hits delete.
“I don’t know… It’s in the fridge…”
“to offer ad space in any of the…”
“I don’t know… Ask your father…” The phone beeps again. “Hold on… I got something on the other line…” The woman presses a different button. “Hello?”
Rantz stares at his monitor, takes a deep breath and continues typing. “…three issues of our publication to be released during the first quarter…”
“I’m on the train…” the woman says. “Okay…. Listen, Gina’s on the other line… I’ll talk to you later.” She presses a button. “Hello? What? It was Brenda… No… Don’t forget to set the VCR… Make sure you tape ‘Everybody Loves Raymond’.”
“the first quarter of everybody loves…” Rantz taps his fist to his forehead and shakes his head. He closes the word processor and turns off the computer.
“All right… all right… Okay, I’ll see you in a few minutes…. Bye…” The woman shuts her phone and pushes it back into her bag.
Rantz looks at her. After a moment, he turns his laptop back on. When it boots, he loads the letter and begins to type again. “the first quarter of next year. Please respond to these proposals as soon….”
A sharp ring comes from the seat in front of him. The man sitting there pulls out a phone and brings it to his face. “Hello?” he screams. “What? I’m on the train!”