June 1 , 2005
Week 6 - Frito Lay is a Fickle Mistress
Episode 3
“There’s only one sure fire way to get the circ back up to last year’s levels,” Rantz says. “Spend a lot more money to send out a lot more direct mail.”
“All that junk mail already costs us a fortune!” Harry says. “How much more do we need to spend?”
“I’ve run some models. It’s not gonna be pretty…”
“How much?”
“To get back to where we were last year we’ll have to increase the direct mail budget by thirty five percent.”
“Thirty five percent!” Harry reaches for his chest. “My pacemaker!”
“I told you it wouldn’t be pretty...”
The door to the office flies open. Powell bursts in. “Harry!” he yells. “I... I just got off the phone… In the new Spider-Man movie… The Lizard is gonna be played by Al Pacino!”
Harry shakes his head. “Thirty five percent… I don’t believe it…” He stuffs a Dorito into his mouth.
“Harry… Uh... Didn’t you hear me! The Lizard’s gonna be played by Scarface himself!”
“So what do you want from me?” Harry says. “Can’t you write a simple story without acting like the world is going to end?”
“But… Al Pacino! This is giant… I don’t understand…"
Rantz looks over the spreadsheet in his hand. “Uh oh… I just realized I made a mistake… I forgot to factor in the rate increase that the post office announced last week… It’ll probably cost us more like… um… forty percent…”
“Forty!” Harry yells, a stream of Dorito crumbs flying from his lips.
Powell stares at the ceiling. “I wonder if they can get DePalma to direct…”