Week 25 : The Quest 4 : Episode 4
“So… our story so far,” Chuck says, in the voice of an announcer. “Our hero here…” he points to Hal, “has dedicated his very existence to a computer game called Death Zone 2. All he ever does is play and talk about it…”
“You know, Chuck,” Hal says, “why don’t you get the f–k out of here, just go home…”
“In fact, the high point of his entire life is when he once scored off of Kill Ravage, one of the titans of the game. This was during a match when said Kill Ravage single handedly took on our hero’s whole team, and said Kill Ravage beat them anyway, fifteen to one… But, still…”
“Seriously, go away, just leave me alone!”
“Now he discovers that the great Kill Ravage, has a secret identity - mild mannered Murray Rosen, loser, nerd, and all around asshole, the least popular kid in the whole school!”
Chuck pauses and looks at Hal.
“Are you finished, shithead?” Hal asks. “Are you done now?”
“No, wait, I’ve gotta get to the teaser for the next episode…”
“What?”
“Hold on, let me think… Okay, ready?”
Hal shakes his head and covers his face with his hands.
“How will our hero react?” Chuck asks. “Will he give up the game he loves so much? Will he run away from home in distress, and become a five dollars a blow job crack whore?”
“Do you have any friends? I mean, seriously, is there one person in the whole world who doesn’t think you’re an annoying prick?”
“Or will he play on, vowing to increase his skill until he is worthy to challenge once again his man god, the mighty Kill Ravage, a. k. a., Murray the greasy haired doofus?”
Hal stands up and pushes Chuck toward the door. “All right, that’s it. Get out of here right now or I’ll break your f–king face!”
“Only time will tell!” Chuck says, as he steps out of the room. “Tune in tomorrow for another exciting episode of… Pathetic Losers and Their Stupid Problems!”